Shopping Rules: "It doesn't come home unless you love it"

I've decided to start a new feature here: Shopping Rules. It's where I talk about some of the rules that I use to try and get the most satisfaction from my limited funds.

The first rule I wanted to talk about is my cardinal rule: it doesn't come home unless you love it. Basically speaking, you should never EVER buy something unless you're head over heels for it.

This was not always the way I shopped. Back when I was younger I was notoriously bad at passing up a good deal. Maybe it was a sweater that wasn't quite the right colour or a skirt that was mostly flattering or a poster that was pretty, but not quite my style... if it was a decent item at a good price (especially if it was a well-made item), I had a rough time passing it by. Inevitably, though, this led to a closet full of clothing I was never satisfied with and a home full of decor that wasn't cohesive. Once the thrill of the deal was done, I was stuck with a bunch of stuff that wasn't quite right for me.

I wanted to buy beautiful things (there's that expensive taste thing rearing its ugly head again), but I never felt like I had enough money to pull it off. Instead, I settled for cheaper items that were mostly there, but not completely. The crazy thing, though, is that I was actually spending quite a bit of money on clothes, shoes, and home items... it just never felt that way because I was making lots of smaller purchases instead of a few larger ones.

Over the last five years or so I had been dabbling with buying less (partially thanks to getting addicted to John Fluevog shoes... it's hard to go back to other brands once you start wearing Fluevogs, but even on sale they're a bit pricey), but it only stuck more recently.

A year and a half ago I bought a wallet that shook some sense into me. Yeah, a wallet... just go with me here for a minute. It was Boxing Day and, thanks to a massive sale and an influx of holiday money that made me feel richer than I actually was, I bought a stunning green Kate Spade wallet for $50. Yeah, that's not ridiculously expensive, but I should point out that this was more than double what I had ever paid for a wallet ever in my life. The entire experience felt almost shamefully decadent, especially since I was a poor grad student at the time.

I'll tell you what, though... it becomes very hard to spend money on, say, a pair of slacks that are baggy in the waist when you have to whip out the most perfect green wallet ever to do so.

The wallet inadvertently pushed me to wanting other perfect things. However, I had to find a way to outwit my natural tendency to jump on good sales regardless of good sense (and, let's be honest, it's very hard for most people to afford perfect things if you aren't strategic with your purchases).

And so, an internal dialogue was born (one my friends have become pretty familiar with, as it tends to become external dialogue I hassle them with every time we go shopping together... you guys know I only hassle out of love, right?): "Yeah, but do you really love it?"

For example:

Me: "Wow, this grey sweater feels awesome... plus it's 40% off!"
Sensible me: "Yeah, but do you really love it?"
Me: "Well... the fabric is fantastic, but I'm not completely sold on the neckline, and I'm trying to avoid wearing grey..."

See. "Do you really love it?" plants fantastic seeds of doubt unless you're 100% sold on the item. As long as you can make a commitment to be totally honest with yourself when you ask the question, then you can be assured that nothing comes home that you aren't delighted to have. And if you're spending less money on things you don't use a lot, then you can reallocate that money to things you're going to want to use all the time (or, alternately, other things like travel or a car or... well, if you become overwhelmed with a sense of fiscal responsibilities there's always your crippling student debt, home loan, or retirement savings. You could pay my student loans if you're running out of responsible categories... *sigh*).

So you save money (well, in my case you reallocate that money and spend it on fewer, but higher quality things, but that's a topic worthy of its own blog entry), but that's not all You also save space in your home (no more trying to find space for yet another t-shirt you'll never wear), make getting dressed easier (no more weeding through your closet trying to find something to wear that you dislike the least), and have home decor that actually works together (no more uncomfy office chair that doesn't match your ugly couch).

What's not to love? I'll be honest, it'll feel godawful awful for awhile when you start. If you're anything like me you'll likely be seized with crippling anxiety at first for fear that you're leaving behind something fantastic... but after awhile you realize that if you rejected the item because you didn't 100% love it, then you don't end up missing it... if you even remember a week later that the item existed (this will happen. A lot).

Trust me, the anxiety lessens.

Eventually one day you'll look in your closet and realize everything in it brings you obscene amounts of joy. I'll tell you, it's worth the nausea-inducing stress you originally felt at the start (oh... the nausea... it's horrifying!).